Sadomasochism (S&M for short) revolves inflicting or receiving pain or humiliation in the name of sexual pleasure. It is actually not all about pain, and can have positive health benefits as well as enriching for relationships.
With the insane popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, bondage and BDSM has been a hot topic, and many praise the books and film for breaking down the taboo. BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism.
BDSM should be done between two consenting adults in a loving relationship and needs a strong amount of trust and closeness in order to really surrender yourself and explore new areas of your sexuality with confidence.
According to a new study from the American Psychological Association, S&M or bondage can bring about the ‘flow’ in your brain – an altered state of mind where you are totally absorbed in the task, and the brain is at its most productive and creative.
Bring back the passion
Indulging in some S&M could kick start your relationship if you feel as though you’ve been through a stale period. Sex expert Tracey Cox says: “The more couples move away from predictable, routine sex that doesn’t challenge them the better. A mild form of S&M could be just what you need to kick yourselves back into the type of sex you had at the start.”
Tracey Cox says that desire thrives on danger, tension, and the forbidden. Trying something new could build desire between the two of you, which is something that can be replaced with comfort and deep love after many years together.
Repair partner imbalance
If you struggle in day to day life feeling as though you are dependent on your partner, or as though they rely on you, there could be a power imbalance in your relationship. A good way to shake things up is to switch roles in the bedroom, which can actually alleviate outside of the bedroom stress and anxiety.
Switching power roles could be beneficial, and a turn on, for both partners, as you allow yourselves to role play into a fantasy world – and who knows, maybe things will change as a result in all aspects.
Imagine if your partner really knew all the things you fantasise when you masturbate. Well, why can’t they? It can be daunting at first, but liberating and fundamentally important to your relationship to discuss things you want to try.
You both also need to reveal where you draw the line, and things you didn’t like in the past, as well as talking about your wildest fantasies. Speaking and indulging in these desires will open you both up to a more honest line of communication both in and out of the bedroom.
Broaden your horizons together
Sure, you might have no idea what you are doing, but learning about bondage and S&M together can be half of the fun. You could even experiment with objects lying around the house and see what feels good before you begin to spend a lot of money on all the gear.
There are endless possibilities when it comes to S&M, and the great thing is that there is no rush, no expectations of you – take it slow or fast, big or small, and just try to lose yourselves in the moment.
Trusting somebody enough to make you vulnerable, and being able to respect yet dominate them in return, is something powerful and something that really relies on trust and respect.
Restraint could really be what you and your partner need, and might just turn you on much more than you thought possible, as being in somebody else’s control can be a seriously erotic experience. If you find that you don’t enjoy it, then at least you tried, and you don’t need to do it again!